The Wheel of Consent weekend – Brighton -2nd/3rd December 2023

The Wheel of Consent® created by Dr Betty Martin is an inquiry, an exploration and a map of giving and receiving in relating. By separating out "Who is doing?" and "Who is it for?" in any interaction, we clarify what's actually happening in terms of giving and receiving, and our part in it. 

Relating is core to human life; from asking a friend for something I want, to being asked a favour from a work colleague, to having a sexy offer from a lover. Human interaction is complex and varied. Getting clear on what's true in relating, such as what we want, how willing or generous we feel to give, and knowing our limits in each moment will both increase personal confidence, and clarity of interaction with all relationships in life.

During the weekend you will be supported to notice, value and trust your feelings so that you can become more aware of choice. We explore what happens when we are unable to be in choice, and how to come into greater safety and direction. By slowing down and bringing awareness to communication, we learn specific ways of creating safe agreements.

The Wheel of Consent is also a map, or model of relating. During the weekend we enquire through both mental cognition, and through feelings in our body. We explore what feels good to us and follow that. In this way we can embody our felt-sense in grasping the dynamics of The Wheel.

The dynamics or "Quadrants" of The Wheel include:

• Taking; actively getting what you want.
• Allowing: enabling another to get what they want.
• Serving: to provide or offer what another person wants.
• Accepting: to receive what's been provided or offered to you. 

Each of these dynamics or the four "Quadrants" has its own gift or lesson. All of these can only happen with clear communication, boundaries being respected, and consensual agreement. When these aspects are not followed we try instead to get what we want through the "Shadow" behaviour of each Quadrant.  

Integral to the course will be group discussion as we look at the four types of giving and receiving, and the spiritual gift of each. We explore the importance of consent and communication, and the shadow aspect when consent is not in place. The intension is to create a safe, authentic environment for each person to be heard and respected in relation to the material and their personal experience.

During the course we will have the opportunity to explore conscious touch and feeling. Each person will be invited to explore what feels good for them in solo practice, and gentle partner work. These exercises are usually limited to the hands. No one does anything they don't want to do! You may also choose not to touch at all during the course. 

If you want to discover more about your patterns of behaviour regarding asking for what you want, being clear about what you don't want and pleasure, shame and empowerment this course is for you.

If you take this course you may develop some or all of the following: 

• ability to listen to what you want and how to communicate this.
• increased ability to feel sensation in your body.
• greater awareness of what your boundaries are in any moment, and ability maintain healthy boundaries when you want to.
• healthy outlets for your desires and empathy for others' desires, needs and boundaries.
• freedom from limited behaviour patterns.

Workshop guidelines and agreements:

• Confidentiality.
• It's a clothed workshop.
• Everything is an invitation and is choice-centric!

Who is it for?

• People from all sexual orientations and all genders.
• People from all races and cultural backgrounds.
• People who are curious to learn!

Access:

• Course in English.
• Some stairs at the venue, but street access has only a few stairs down into the room.
• Offering five tickets at a concessionary rate (see below).

Investment:

• £220
• Concession £180 *
• Reduced price for helpers

* Five concessionary tickets are available. Check if any of the following apply to you:

• You are a full-time student
• You are aged 18-25
• You claim Universal Credit, pension credit, PersonalIndependence Payment (PIP) income support or job seekers allowance, or you are in receipt of working tax credit.
• You have a wage bracket of (single household: annual income of less than £23,000 / family household: combined annual income less than £34,500)
• You are a teacher in a UK state or private primary school, or a teacher at a UK state or private secondary school or further education institution.
• You belong to an ethnic minority group.

Please note: we may ask ask for proof of eligibility.

Testimonials:

"I was very impressed with Julia's wheel of consent six week course. The material itself is extremely useful and practical - there is an ethos and exercises that I started to apply immediately to both my personal and professional life with excellent results. I learnt a lot about how I operate in intimate and other relationships and with this information could make new choices of behaviour. The actual group was fun and I appreciated how Julia responded to what was shared. As always I love her humour and zest for pleasure" Helen Thatcher, Hove.

"The group has been a lot of fun and really eye opening for learning about how I interact with people on lots of levels. As well as becoming more confident about tuning into and trusting what I want in physical interactions it's also had a big effect on day to day situations. I've started to notice the difference between what I want and what I'm prepared to go along with, and to ask for what I actually want more often. I'd absolutely recommend this to anyone who wants to feel clearer about what they really want." Angus Singleton, Brighton.

Julia has held The Wheel of Consent groups since 2016 in Brighton and London. She is a certified Wheel of Consent® workshop facilitator via Dr Betty Martin; the creator. 

To join the group please email julia@heartnova.com and you will receive payment details to reserve your place. Please also make contact if you have any questions.